


To The Meadow

by FairyLights101



Series: Ereri Week 2015 [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - War, Amputation, Amputee, Angst, Blood, Death, Ereri Week, Fluff, Gore, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Disability, Post-War, Violence, War, ereri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:43:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4070524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyLights101/pseuds/FairyLights101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In war, all one has is the hope that they'll live to see the sun rise the next day. After that, they can hope for a little more. For Eren, he has a lot to hope for. Surviving another day. Returning to camp. Going home. Reuniting with family and friends. Being with Levi. <br/>And maybe, just maybe, he'll get those hopes fulfilled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To The Meadow

**Author's Note:**

> Ereri Week Day 4: Fireflies

Eren swiftly dismantled his gun, glancing up occasionally as he wiped down the parts. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you," he grumbled, finding the source of the damnable firearm's problem - a small rock lodged in the firing mechanism.

"Eren, I could have sworn guns weren't the things you wanted up your ass," Levi drawled from his perch across the room, his rifle perched on his shoulder, finger on the trigger as he peered through the scope, gray cap pulled low over his forehead.

Eren shot his fellow soldier a withering glare, one that was slightly ruined by the smile that curled his lips up. "Can't help that I'm pissed. This fucking gun is a piece of shit. I'm getting a replacement for this shit when we get back"  _If we get back_.

"Or you could just grab one off some poor bastard's corpse. God knows there's enough of those out there and they don't exactly need 'em anymore. I can give you cover."

"I know. I trust you. But… I just don't feel comfortable doing that. Still." It felt too much like desecrating a body. It didn't matter that it was war and his had very likely been the finger to put the bullet through their skull. He hated the idea of being reduced to a mere scavenger to survive, especially if it was off dead bodies. Levi had less of a problem with it, his mind focused solely on getting their asses out of the war zone. Preferably in one piece.

"Fine," the elder soldier grumbled as he slowly turned the barrel of his rifle as he swept the street outside. "I'll grab you one later. Probably near nightfall. There's a stiff near the entrance, 'bout forty meters down. You cover and I'll search him."

"... Thank you."

Levi shifted the gun a bit but it wasn't enough to completely hide the tiny smile he wore, making Eren's heart give an abrupt flutter. "Don't thank me," Levi huffed, putting his gruff exterior back into place. "It's somethin' you should do yourself."

"I know." Levi glanced over, those gunmetal eyes filled with passion and fear and hope while his face remained expressionless. The look was so strong that it froze Eren in place, hands stilling on his reassembled gun.

"Eren…" The word was quiet, even in the deafening silence of the city. "Eren… I'll get you out of this. Alive."

And for a split second, all the pain Levi had long since locked away was visible. The pain of losing comrades, of watching them topple over with a hole in their body, blood pouring out no matter how hard they tried to stop the flow. They had both lost friends - too many really - and in war you could only lose more. But, stupidly, that one fact hadn't stopped them from getting close. Dangerously so. In ways that made Eren's heart ache with every smile and every simple touch.

Eren met that vow with a tired smile and a nod. "I know you will. I-" A deafening crack split through the calm, the dry pop of a gun firing in the silent city. The brick above the smashed window exploded into bits of shrapnel and dust, cascading down toward Levi. The small soldier paid it no mind, pressing his eye to the scope and swinging his gun to the side, seeking only for a moment before he pulled the trigger, filling the city with his own gunfire, only two shots. He waited for a moment, taut enough that he looked like he could snap at any moment before he released his breath.

Eren followed in suit, shuddering slightly with his exhale.  _That was close. Too close_. Levi sank down, back pressed to the wall and gun cradled against his chest. "Shit… That was my fault."

"No, it wasn't.  _Our_  fault. Is he…?"

"Yeah. Blood was pooling, limbs weren't movin'." Eren spared a glance out the window before he darted over, crouched low to be less of a target in case there were more enemies roaming the streets or holed up in buildings somewhere. He sank down beside Levi and pressed their bodies close together, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip. The gun Levi cradled settled on his shoulder, safety in place.

The younger soldier caught Levi's hand, threading their fingers together and squeezing tight. Levi's hand was cool compared to his own warmth - cold really - and Levi welcomed the heat with a soft sigh. "It's getting cold… We should find you another jacket. Gloves too. 'Specially since you refuse to let me give yours back, you idiot."

"That's no way to speak to an elder, you little shit."

"Says the one who threatened to shank the Commander if he didn't shut up."

"He deserved it. 'Sides, Erwin's a tough mother fucker. He could've handled it."

"Still. We need to get you a jacket."

"Fine."

Winter had officially hit their hemisphere three weeks prior. FIve days ago Levi had shrugged off his coat and gloves and forced Eren to put them on, his own soaking wet from a burst of freezing rain he had been caught in. They had been forced to move before the clothes had managed to dry, before they could grab them even.

Levi refused to let Eren returned the clothes, always insisting he was fine. But he couldn't hide the shivers, not at moments like then as they sat with their backs pressed to a cold stone wall with a bitter wind coming in from the windows above and he definitely couldn't hide it as they slept pressed close together to share as much warmth as possible in a pathetic attempt to preserve their fingers and toes in the way they should have been. Though it must not have been that pathetic since both still had five fingers and toes on each hand and foot without a sign of frostbite in sight.

The heavy gaze of those gunmetal orbs was on him, hot and familiar before Levi looked away and sighed. "Fine. We'll go tomorrow at dawn. But I'm not getting one off a corpse. That shit's disgusting. I've got fucking standards still."

With a smile Eren brought their intertwined hands to his lips, kissing their fingers. "Okay. Hey, Levi?"

"Yeah?"

"You live in Sina, right?"

"Yeah… why?"

"Well… I live in Shiganshina. They're not too far away. Just a few hours. If…  _once_  we get home, you should come. Find me. Not too hard in a small town like that. Find me and…" And they could talk about life outside the war, about what they were doing. They could step over that line they kept threatening to edge over, crossing from friendship to something more. Moving on from just holding hands to things that weren't so innocent, things that infested Eren's dreams, filled him with hope for the future.  _I like him too much_ … So much that imagining life without him ripped his breath away.

Eren swallowed hard and charged on, babbling now. "You could meet my family. I'm sure they'd love you. Mikasa did. We have a huge stretch of land behind our house too - a meadow really. There's lots of fireflies in the summer. I catch 'em every year. You should come, do it too. It's fun. Really. And…"  _And we could lie in the meadow and hold hands as we stare at the sky and then I'll roll over onto you and kiss you until we're dizzy and breathless. I'll tell you I love you and then say it again and again and again. Because I do. I love you_.

"I will," Levi murmured up to the ceiling before looking over at Eren with a soft smile. His cold nose bumped into the warm skin of Eren's neck, sending a shiver racing up and down his spine. "'n you'll come to my place, meet Farlan and Isabel. I've got my own place - a flat. You could stay there, save money. When you're there we'll sit on the couch for hours and watch shitty movies and eat a bunch of crappy food and just be fucking lazy. And…"

Levi squeezed his hand, burying his face deeper into the crevice of Eren's neck, his warm breath brushing over his skin. Eren squeezed back, a tiny smile twitching his lips up. "I know… I can't wait."

Their breakfast consisted of frigid water, hard bread, and cheese with dried meat. They saved fires for night, when the smoke was less obvious, less likely to get them killed. Not that they had much food to cook anyway - not much period.

Eren glanced at Levi all too often, studying his thin frame and weary eyes as well as the dark bags beneath them. Levi didn't sleep much, not really, but the shivers that wracked him until Eren had pulled him close had kept them both up long into the night. Levi wasn't helping his case anyway, insisting on taking longer watches during the night, urging eren to have some of his rations, giving up his fucking coat and gloves. At least he still had his scarf.  _He needs to stop, needs to keep his strength up. He's the better soldier_.

It was true. For every enemy that Eren took down Levi killed five more. Not out of cold blood. No, he did it to ensure their survival. Letting one live might mean another dead comrade - or a bullet between their own eyes. They had made that mistake once before.

Levi coughed, a rough hacking sound that forced its way through his throat and made him double over. Eren was by his side instantly. He didn't wait for Levi to finish before he peeled the military-issue jacket from his shoulders and set it over Levi's. Weary grays snapped up to him the moment the fabric touched his shoulders, his gaze hardening into a glare. "Eren-"

"Shut the fuck up, Levi. You can't get me out of here if you aren't healthy. Seriously, shut up. I'll find one once we start moving. We were gonna find one soon anyway."

His words were met with a huff but Levi didn't argue that, instead pulling the jacket tighter around him, giving it a sniff that wasn't exactly discreet as he did so. Eren smiled and stood, welcoming the early morning cold so long as Levi was warm.  _We're just a few miles from base. We can make it by nightfall if we push hard._

It only took them a moment to gather their meager supplies, down to just a few bites of stale or dried food, a half canteen of water, seven assorted bullets for handguns, fifteen for the rifle, and three guns, one courtesy of a scavenged corpse outside. They had sacrificed their last match to light the one cigarette left, which they had shared until they had singed their fingers drawing out those final disgusting puffs. The radio was broken but the compass and watch were still blissfully intact. Otherwise all of their gear was broken or lost, gradually being exhausted as they had travelled thirty miles through the ruined city. All because their car had been destroyed and they had been separated from their squad - they were likely dead in all honestly.

"Ready?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

Levi led the way, creeping through the empty building with the new handgun clutched in his gloved hands. The metal of eren's shitty gun was positively frigid against his bare skin but Eren clenched his teeth and charged on, stealthily slipping along behind Levi.

They left the building behind and crept out into the early morning light. It was dead outside, no sound aside from the wind, no movement except for a few birds and one lone, lanky dog loping through the chaos that was the road. The soldiers clung to the edge, one shoulder pressed to the rough brick of buildings as they darted on, crouched low and occasionally stopping behind or other good sources of cover that dotted the landscape.

Every move that made a nose had them flinching and glancing around, wary of an enemy presence. They saw nothing. Even so that did nothing to slow their pace or ease their anxieties. The only thing that really slowed them was when they broke into an abandoned home and found a fairly thick jacket and gloves for Eren, which he slipped on immediately with a relieved sigh. It was too fucking cold to have gone without one for much longer. It certainly made the cold easier to bear and he no longer had to spend their momentary stops desperately blowing on his numb fingers.

One hour slipped by before Levi raised a hand and they stopped, white puffs pouring from their mouths as they gasped for air in the bitter cold. "Levi?"

"There's a body on the ground. Enemy soldier. Might have another gun so you can lose that piece of shit you've got. Give it to me. I don't want that shitty thing covering my back." Eren wordlessly handed over his gun, unease budding in his stomach as he eyed the corpse and took the new gun. It wasn't too far away, perhaps ten or twenty meters, but it was out in the open, no cars or metal mailboxes to cover it.

Levi caught Eren's hand and gave it a quick squeeze with a tiny smile, his gunmetal eyes glittering with something unreadable. "We've done this before. We'll be fine. I trust you."

The words managed to pull a smile out of Eren and he dipped his head. "You'd better be quick." "When am I not?" Levi gave him no time to respond, giving his hand one last squeeze before darting off, his hurried steps too loud in the silence, thankfully only lasting for a short moment before he knelt down beside the body. The seconds ticked by agonizingly slow as Levi delved into the soldier's pockets and searched his body for ammo, weapons, _anything_.  _Cmon Levi, c'mon…_

Movement caught Eren's eye and he froze for a moment, slowly turning his head towards the source. A dark shape slunk along the opposite side of the street, a gun cradled in their hands. All the oxygen in Eren's throat vanished as the enemy soldier stopped and raised the gun, leveling it straight at Levi.

Eren whipped his gun up, mind blank, movements automatic as he pulled the trigger once, twice, three times. The enemy soldier dropped to the ground and Eren glanced to the side as Levi whipped around.

"Eren!"

Another dry pop split the air, not from their guns. Numbness flared through Eren's side as he staggered back, then pain, no, raw fucking  _agony_  seared through his arm. Two more cracks and then footsteps, someone calling his name as his back hit something and he slumped down onto the cold ground. Hands settled on his shoulder, his face. Nothing made sense until Eren blinked and dragged in a ragged breath. Levi knelt before him, those beautiful gray eyes wide with horror. "Eren! Fuck, fuck,  _fuck_."

"Levi..." The word came out as a whimper, weak and pitiful but he couldn't help it, couldn't hold it back. A gentle thumb swept across Eren's cheek as Levi leaned closer, his own voice soft and wavering. "Eren… Eren, I've got you. I'm here. Take a deep breath for me, okay? Good, good. I'm gonna pick you up, okay?"

Eren shook his head and weakly pushed at Levi, shock and pain weakening his movement. "No… no, Levi, Levi you've gotta go. Make it to HQ."

"Fuck that!" Levi snarled, grip tightening on Eren's good shoulder. "I'm not leaving you behind, you fucking  _idiot_! Get up on my back and shut the fuck up. Scratch that, talk to me but don't you fuckin' dare tell me to leave your dumb ass behind." Levi gave him no time to respond or even wonder over those crass words, instead grabbing Eren's good arm and wrapping it around his neck as he turned, back to Eren.

Somehow he managed to slump across Levi's back, one arm hooked around his neck, legs locked around Levi's waist, a hand under each to hold him up. His other arm dangled by his side, numb except for the throbs of pain rolling through it and the distant sensation of blood dripping from his fingers.

Levi did not start with a walk. No, he broke into a run, one that was surprisingly fast considering the dead weight sprawled across his back.  _He's always been strong though… so strong…_ "What?"

Eren stirred on Levi's back, grimacing as ever step jostled his arm and sent a fresh bolt of pain lancing up his arm. "Levi…?"

"You said something," Levi murmured, somehow speaking and managed to breath evenly. Then again, he had been the top recruit, over even Mikasa Ackerman and she was - had been -  _phenomenal_.

"Strong..." Eren mumbled as he pressed his face into Levi's neck, breathing in the scent of sweat, dirt, metal, and something that was uniquely Levi, something he couldn't put a name to. He got no response for his whisper except for a squeeze to his thigh. Half-open eyes watching the surroundings pass by though he never quite took any of it in. It was all a blur of buildings that had been looted and destroyed with signs he couldn't read and shadowy places for enemies to hide.

But the movement never ceased, just the constant jostle as Levi moved from one foot to the other, slapping the ground with boot-clad feet as he ran on. His arm was soaked, blood steadily flowing down increasingly numb arm. There was numbness but there was pain.  _Why? Rather not feel it…_

Eren raised his head, a nearly impossible task with how heavy it was, and glanced down at his arm for the first time.

"Oh."

Half of it was gone at the bicep, bits of shattered bone visible beneath the slipping bandage Levi must have put on while he had been drowning in an overwhelming ocean of whirlpool of agony.

"Idiot..." Levi panted, "Don't look at it."

Normally Eren would have protested, would have argued, would have thrown up at the sight of that kind of gore but the shock numbed him, weighed him down. He was too tired to do any of that, unable to find the energy to even gag. He obediently tucked his head back into Levi's neck, nuzzling into the warm flesh. Cold. He was getting so cold. Eren shivered and bit his lip but it couldn't stop his teeth from crashing together, chattering quietly at first but growing louder and louder.  _Cold_ … He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep, to drift off on the wave of darkness that teased him.

The change of pace was sudden, going from a swift jog to a face-paced walk. Levi's chest heaved with heavy breaths beneath Eren as he hitched the injured soldier further up onto his back, squeezing his thighs gently. "Eren, talk."

He let out a soft moan instead. He didn't want to talk, not when he was so exhausted and fucking freezing. Eren shivered again, hand clenching weakly against Levi's uniform as he pressed closer, desperate for warmth. "Don't wanna… Too tired… cold..."

"... Eren, I'm going to set you down."

Eren gave a weak nod and whimpered as Levi knelt down and eased him onto the ground, doing his best to set him down carefully but it didn't happen, not when his hand brushed the ground and sent a fresh flare of pain breaking through the daze of numbness. A soft whimper escaped him, his eyes burning with the threat of tears. "Cold..."

Weary green eyes flicked up, drawn by movements he didn't quite understand until he realized that Levi had shucked his jacket, his gloves, and his scarf before he knelt down in front of Eren, clad only in the army uniform that was anything but thick enough for the cold. They hadn't really planned on being caught out in it.

The younger soldier shook his head and leaned away, teeth chattering violently as tremors wracked his frigid, numb body. "No L-L-L-Levi… k-keep it a-a-and leave me… J-just go…"

"Shut up!" Levi snapped as he tugged on Eren, forcing the jacket over him, his good arm forcibly being shoved through a sleeve and the front buttoned over him, barely fitting with the new inclusion of his wrecked arm in it as well. Eren was too weak to fight it, to force the warm hands away, so it was easy for Levi to get the jacket on him, the gloves on his hands, and the scarf around his neck before Levi heaved him onto his back once more, completely ignoring every single one of Eren's feeble protests.

They lurched into motion once more, a little slower than before. Levi's breathing was more labored but it was well within its normal bounds. With the additional layer Eren's teeth didn't chatter so much and he wasn't so cold.

 _Talk_. Levi's voice reverberated in his head, the single desperate command he had been given what felt like hours ago. "Thank you," he mumbled into that filthy uniform, that warm neck. His words came, slow and halting, uncertain and unsteady. It took him far longer than it should have. "I'll make it up to you… Go to the meadow 'n catch fireflies. Make some dinner for you, the best. We'll go to your place… S-stay in your flat and do all sorts of s-stuff. Whatever you want. A-a-and…"

He was cold, so fucking cold.  _How am I so cold already?_  His arm was numb from tip to shoulder but pain somehow managed to break through every few moments when a step jarred it enough. Everything, every part of his body was so, so, so fucking heavy. Darkness danced at the edges of his vision, blurring everything and making it hard to see.  _Am I dying? Is this it?_

Green eyes fluttered shut as he completely slumped against Levi, his grip loosening even more. All he wanted was to lie on the ground, curl up, and die. Die so that Levi could escape the war zone and live. Die so that the numbness and pain would be gone and he could be with the rest of their squad, their comrades.

"Don't… don't you fucking dare… you son of a bitch!" Levi's voice broke through the encroaching darkness as his pace quickened, but the movement was lost to Eren, disappearing in the ever-growing haze. "Eren… Eren, look, we're almost there. See?" He didn't respond, couldn't. Tongue too thick, head too heavy, words too much. levi's grip shifted, faltered, tightened.

His back hitched and a muffled sound escaped him, too soft for Eren to even attempt to name. Dull green eyes cracked open to watch the ground rush up to them. levi hit the ground first, then Eren - straight onto his bad arm. Fire seared through his arm, shattering the daze as his eyes flew wide, a scream tearing from his lips, grating his throat. Not agony. A fucking inferno that licked up his arm, filling his veins and bringing with it a wave of black.

"Eren, shit, shit, shit,  _Eren_. Oh fuck, oh fuck. Can't run.  _I can't run_. Eren…"

Eren gasped and heaved against the cracked concrete beneath them, somehow finding the strength for words. "Go!"  _I don't want to die._  "Please."  _Don't leave me._ "S-save yourself…"  _Levi… please_.

"I'm not leaving you!" Those gunmetal eyes were wild, filled with far too much to read. Dark spots danced across his face, expanding and dominating everything. "I'm not leaving you! I can't. You… I can't…"

Eren whimpered and shuddered, his body growing limp against the concrete. It was too much, all too much. He could feel himself letting go, giving in to the agony and daze and numbness. "Eren! Eren, don't you fucking do it, don't you-" A rumble broke through his words, familiar. "Eren, there's a car coming. A friendly. One of ours. Eren…?  _Eren_!"

* * *

 

"Eren, honey, there's a visitor for you."

"Mom…"

"Eren."

"Mom…"

"Eren. Get up. I think this is someone you'll want to see."

"I don't wanna…" He just wanted to lie in bed and mope, to poke at the scars on his arm and sigh as he drifted in and out of consciousness, a familiar face permanently ingrained on the back of his eyelids, unfortunately accompanied by some images that weren't nearly as pleasant.

"Oi." A new voice - well, new in the house. It was one he recognized immediately, the rich, silken tones making his body tense with disbelief, uncertainty,  _hope_. "I don't think that's any way to talk to your elder, especially your mother."

Eren's eyes shot open as he rolled over and sat up in one smooth motion. His mother stood slightly inside his room, worry in those soulful brown eyes as she idly toyed with her loose ponytail. Another person stood in the door, short but with a dominating presence, an achingly familiar voice, with gunmetal irises, with black hair still in a military cut though the uniform had been replaced by a black jacket, a white button-up, black slacks, and a black cane rather than a gun.

"Levi…"

Eren tossed the covers back, not giving a damn where they went as he threw himself across the room, straight past his mother as he crashed into Levi. The smaller man staggered back, his cane clattering to the floor a moment before Levi's back hit the wall in the hallway, pinning Eren's arm behind him for a moment before he pulled it back to cup Levi's face. Eren gazed down in baffled wonder as he drank in the visage of the smaller man who stared back up at him, more than a little bemused. "Hey there, Yeager."

"Levi… You're… you're here…"

Levi made to say something but his mouth closed as he read something on Eren's faced, saw everything playing across it plain as day, just as always. His thumb swept across Levi's cheek, not quite sure if he could believe that the man was really there. Too many dreams had teased him only to shatter him that belief failed to come easy. "Levi… Is it really you?"

"Yeah," Levi rasped, one hand rising to touch Eren's cheek, "It's me. Shit jokes and all."

A massive grin split Eren's face, visible only for a moment before they collided with frantic mouths, wandering hands, and hungry eyes, starving really, as they claimed the thing that had been so taboo during the war, the thing they could finally have. Eren trembled, reveling in that touch he had dreamt of, longed for. out of thousands, tens of thousands of fantasies, not a single one came close to the real thing.  _Not even close_. It was filled with warmth, solid touches, desperate noises. A whimper escaped him because finally,  _finally_  it was happening. At long last he was tasting those soft, thin lips, reveling in the minty taste that nearly concealed the tea. He was touching those fine cheeks, running his fingers through that astoundingly silky hair.  _Levi…_

They parted with a shared gasp and pressed their foreheads together, cradling each other's cheeks with unsteady hands. "Eren… you're crying…"

The young man nodded with a sniff, shoulders hitching with a silent sob as he closed his eyes. He didn't bother trying to contain his tears. No, they had been held back for far too fucking long. "I know," he whispered as he smiled through the dampness. "I just… I thought I'd never see you again. T-that… that what we had, those promises… You took so long. I thought you'd forgotten… or didn't care."

Levi peeled away and stared at Eren, those beautiful grays wide with confusion, then exasperation. "Idiot.  _Idiot_. How could you think I wouldn't fucking care? I took so long cause this fucker-" he patted his leg, the left one - "didn't want to heal properly. Took a year of hospital time and therapy to get like this. They wouldn't release me until I could walk halfway decent."

A laugh burst out of Eren, loud and boisterous and relieved as he pressed their foreheads together once more. "Thank God… thank God…" Levi didn't say a word, just clutched Eren a little tighter, his fingers digging into his shoulder a little more. Eren spoke first, just like usual. Even during combat he'd done it, though usually only when they were more or less in the clear. "I missed you…"

"I missed you too."

"Your leg… is it…?"

"Permanent? Yeah. Guess we'll be crippled together, huh?"

More laughter burst out of Eren, his lips tugging up with another expansive grin as he moved to kiss Levi's nose. The nose that he had stared at for so long, imagining what it would be like to touch it, to kiss it, to have it bump along him in ways that weren't quite so innocent.

Levi pulled back after a few moments, his eyes soft and a slight warm smile curling his lips. He looked so peaceful like that, perfectly at ease even in a foreign environment. His thumb swept across eren's cheek, bringing with it delightful tingles. "How about we go catch those fireflies, Bright Eyes?"

They moved slowly, Eren laden down by a picnic basket filled to the brim with all sorts of delicious foods his mother had made before they had left while Levi limped carefully across the grass, leaning heavily on his cane to ease the journey a little. It turned a twenty-minute walk into one that took nearly an hour but that was fine. It mean another hour with Levi, even if it meant lugging a heavy-as-fuck basket with only one arm. Still, that was okay.

The air outside was sweet and cool, fall quickly approached. Summer had slipped right by and Eren had allowed it to do so, not once taking advantage of the heat or the space or the freedom outside. He hadn't even gone out to catch the fireflies. There had been no willpower, no want. Not when he had suddenly been thrust back into life as it had been before the war. But it wasn't. Everything was the same but different on so many levels.

He had lost an arm because of that bullet, a similar type to those fucking miniballs used in one of the American wars. Sounds sometimes gave him panic attacks, though those came unbidden anyway. Nightmares haunted him at night, making sleep uneasy or impossible more often than not.

His friends were dead or still at war: Mikasa with a bullet to the heart; Connie with his legs blown off by a buried explosive; Mina, Thomas, and Marco in a helicopter crash; Jean, Ymir, Annie, Bert, and Reiner still over there and alive as far as he knew. Well, most of them were dead or still deep in war. The few that hadn't gone were… distant. Only Armin had come with any sort of frequency, too determined to give up on Eren, no matter how depressed he was or how many times he refused to leave his bed or even yelled at the poor young man. Armin understood.

"Eren?" He blinked and glanced at Levi who stood a few paces away, nearly all his weight on the cane and his good leg as he watched Eren closely.

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you stop?"

Eren smiled softly and started walking again, easily storing away all his troubles and doubts for another day. "Sorry. I just got caught up in some thoughts."

"You're fine. It happens. But… if you need to talk…"

"I know. The same for you."

"I know." They walked in silence, close but not quite touching. It didn't take much longer to reach the spot, a fairly open stretch with shortish but wild grass with trees casting shadows from above. A sort of hollow by a meadow, quaint and calm. Eren set the basket down with a sigh of relief, rolling his shoulder for a moment before he opened it and extracted a blanket from the top. He glanced at Levi with a sly smile. "Wanna help?"

Levi shot a smirk back at him. "Doesn't look like you could do it by yourself. Quickly anyway."

Together they snapped the blanket out, covering a sizeable stretch of grass. Eren helped Levi down onto the blanket, holding his hand as the older man as he awkwardly sank down before setting the cane aside, his wrecked leg stretched out, the other tucked in. Once they were both on the blanket, close enough that their knees touched, they pulled out all that Eren's mother had packed for them.

There was a variety of sandwiches - peanut butter and jelly, ham and swiss, peanut butter and banana, , cucumber, meatloaf - with two thermoses of chicken noodle sound, a larger one filled with black tea, another filled with some kind of fruity punch, several bottles of water, a few kinds of chips, chocolate chip cookies, and even a few pieces of the chocolate cake she had made the day before. It was astounding she had managed to fit all of that inside such a seemingly small container, especially with the plates, cutlery, napkins, cups,  _and_ the blanket she had managed to squeeze inside as well.

"Damn," Levi murmured appreciatively as he surveyed the spread that covered their blanket. "Your mom really went all out. Does she think we can eat all this?"

Eren smiled softly and nodded as he passed Levi a plate. "She does and she did. She loves to cook and so do I, but without my prosthetic… I guess she's happy I'm not lying in bed too. You coming here gave her a great reason to do something like this. I mean, I 've got a reason to get out. To Smile. Well, something like that I guess."

A warm hand settled on his knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sure Far 'n Izzy would've done the same if I hadn't had a reason to get shit done. I had a reason to get out of that bed and push myself to get better quicker."

Another squeeze and this time it was joined by blushes, a faint dusting of pink on Levi's cheek as Eren flared red. Eren ducked his head, down to his chest at first before he pressed his face into Levi's neck. His face only burned brighter, so hot that there was no way Levi couldn't feel the heat radiating off his cheeks. "I-I'm glad. That you got better. Had a reason. You know."

"Yeah, I do."

"So… uh, you wanna eat?"

"Mm, yeah. I'm fucking starving. Haven't had anything since I left home and that was a while ago. Don't trust train food to be honest."

Eren giggled - fucking  _giggled_  - and they opened the carefully sealed packages, peeling the thin plastic wrap and filling their plates, then their cups. Eren watched Levi with a close eye at first, uncertain of whether or not he would like his mother's cooking. He had no need to worry. From the first bite of his cucumber sandwich and sip of his black tea, Levi's brow rose before he smiled faintly and dug in, far more eager than Eren had ever seen him. Then again, he had only seen Levi eat military rations and in the last few weeks he had been in combat, what they had left from their supplies. Nothing like his mother's cooking.

"So," Eren murmured between bites, careful to not speak with his mouth full. Levi had berated him once for that and once was more than enough. "Your leg. I never did find out what happened to it."

"Ah. You remember when I fell?"

"Yeah. Barely but yeah."

"Well, an enemy shot at me. Hit my leg just above the knee. I think you were too out of it to hear it. Fuck, that shit  _hurt_. But I knew you were fucked up even worse so I had to focus on something. On you. Turns out the bullet had severed a bunch of important shit and fucked shit up so bad that it never could heal properly, even with surgery. So now I get to limp around everywhere and curse those fuckers."

Eren grinned and swatted Levi's leg gently, adding a teasing lilt to his voice. "If you hadn't been carrying me you probably wouldn't have been shot, idiot."

Gunmetal eyes flicked over, abruptly hard. "No. There was no fucking way I was leaving you. I…" Levi shook his head, turned away, and took long sip of tea.

The silence that filled that gap was too much for Eren to handle, shame bubbling up in his gut. Tentatively he touched Levi's shoulder, drawing that cool silver gaze back over. "Levi… I'm sorry… That was stupid. And… thank you. Really. For everything. I know I was a little shit and not the easiest person to be around, so… Le-" Smooth lips caught his, effectively silencing him as Levi pressed closer. His mouth quirked up into a small smile as he delicately nipped Eren's bottom lip before pulling back, a light in those beautiful grays.

"Shut up."

"Yes, sir!"

The rest of the meal passed with ease, chatter - typically from Eren - filling the silence of the meadow between bites of food as they devoured all that Carla had prepared and the things she hadn't. Things like sweet kisses, subtle touches, warm words, and so much more. It was intoxicating really. Eren couldn't quite get enough of it. Not when he could finally have it, when it was finally  _his_ , not just some dream that teased him constantly.

They finished eating after some time and repacked everything but the blanket before they settled back, Eren lying flat with Levi's head pillowed on his stomach. The skies were darkening rapidly. It wouldn't be much longer. "Hey Levi… what are Isabel and Farlan like? How'd you guys meet?"

Levi stirred a bit, twisting a little to look at him and squeezing his hand before he sighed quietly. "Fuck… Good question. I don't remember but Mom told me enough times. We were at a park and there were some asshole kids picking on Isabel for being so small. Farlan and I 'swooped in' as she said and made them leave. Rather forcefully. One had a bloody nose I think. As for what they're like… Didn't I tell you already?"

"Kinda. But we had to move before you could finish."

"Right. Well… Isabel is shorter than me. You remind me of her: energetic as fuck with bright eyes and a contagious laugh and smile. She's forever an optimist. Bit irritating at times but she's like my sister. Farlan is more like me. Reserved, quiet, observative. He's a brother to me, one I can always trust. I… I can't really describe them. I'm shit at stuff like that. But when you meet them…"

Eren combed his fingers through Levi's hair with an idiotic grin plastered on his face. "I'd like that. I can't wait."

"Neither can I… I want you to meet my family. Normally I don't, but… you're important. To me."

It was an excellent thing that Levi couldn't see his face from where they lay because blood had flooded straight to Eren's cheeks, setting them alight. He didn't respond, running his fingers through Levi's hair once more instead. The silken black strands slid easily between his fingers, entrancing in how they felt like a wave of silk or some other smooth, cool fabric.  _God, I'm weird. It's just so soft…_  A soft light caught his eye, one that was familiar and brought a broad grin to his face.

"Levi… they're out." "Hm…?"

"The fireflies. They're out."

They both sat up and looked around the hollow and meadow, watching as it came to life in the early duck. Tiny glowing spots of soft yellowish light dotted the air, fading in and out, steadily growing more numerous with every moment that slipped by. Eren stood and helped Levi up so they could slowly walk a little further away from the blanket. "I've never seen so many…" Levi's voice was filled with wonder, hushed as his eyes tracked the little bugs as they bobbed through the air, their rumps lighting up every few seconds.

"That's what you get for living a city."

"Oh shut the fuck up and catch me one."

"Catch one yourself!"

Eren dove in and pressed a swift kiss to Levi's cheek before he bounced off, careful of where he stepped as he approached one of the bugs. It drifted lazily through the air, flashing its lights enough that he could track its movements as it drifted closer, closer, closer. Rather than shooting his hand out Eren merely reached forward and gently closed his fist around it, peeking through the cracks of his fingers to ensure that he had snagged it. The muted light poking through a moment later confirmed that he had indeed caught it.

Triumphant, he turned back to Levi only to stop. Levi stood a few feet away, not doing anything but watching him with a tiny smile on his lips, those gunmetal eyes soft with affection, with- Eren stepped forward and help his hand out for Levi, opening it into those small, delicate palms to let the lightning bug crawl from his hands to Levi's, lighting up as it went.

Those silvery eyes flicked away from the tiny bug as Eren reached in, cupping his cheek with such tenderness that it surprised him. A thousand words and phrases teased him, all pushing to be said but none quite summing up what he wanted to say or the warmth bubbling in his chest as he gazed down into those entrancing eyes.

"Levi… I really like you."

"I like you too, Eren. A fucking lot."

Somehow, that kiss was so much better than the others they had shared as they stood in the meadow, surrounded by twilight and lightning bugs that danced around them in their own personal haven, thousands of miles away from the ravages of war, from the painful reminders of the past. All that remained was the way they felt beneath their fingers, the way they tasted, the way they murmured sweet nothings with every break between the kisses. And that was all they needed.


End file.
